A few years ago, I decided to write an essay stating my beliefs. I kind of had it in mind to write a yearly update, but forgot. I looked back on that article (my worldview) from four years ago and realized that my beliefs have changed in many ways.
Since that time, I have gone from being primarily a Celtic-influenced Pagan to being mostly Norse-influenced. I am a member of ADF, but I don’t really identify myself with the label Druid. I consider myself Heathen and Ásatrú. I also identify with the term kitchen witch, but not in any Wiccan sense of the word witch.
I’m a “medium” (or what some call “squishy”) polytheist (meaning the belief that the deities are mostly separate entities, but some may be aspects of each other). There have been a couple of stressful times in the past few years when I thought about drastically simplifying my spirituality and becoming a soft-polytheist. After much contemplation I realized that most belief systems that profess to be monotheist are actually not (for even the “oneness”-emphasizing New Age systems still acknowledge spirit guides or angels). So polytheistic thinking now seems to have really sunk in for me. The Ancestors are many, so are the gods. It just makes sense.
Many of the other things I talked about in that previous article still hold true for me… that nature is good, perfection is a false idea… but I don’t really think in pantheistic terms as much as animistic ones, now. I believe in spiritual energy. I often use the term “Odic force” to describe it, although probably not in it’s originally intended meaning. I relate it to the story of Odin breathing life into the first human beings. We are all carrying around a little bit of Odin’s magic.
I no longer resent Christianity like I did some years past. I attend a New Age Christian church because that community makes me happy and helps me live more positively. I do a bit of mental translating in church… When the minister says God, I think Odin. Jesus is alright with me, and I identify him with Balder. I consider “Holy Spirit” to be Odic force. Because of this, I have used the term Gnostic Heathen to describe myself, but this may not be the most accurate term.
I feel that mythology is richly symbolic, but was never really meant to be taken literally. I do not believe in a literal Ragnarok. I believe that Odin’s nature is more wise and magical than war-like. I have had dreams and visions of Odin and Frey that have strengthened their resonance with me. I have a small ADF group that I meet with now for most of the High Days, but a blót format has replaced my Celtic rituals in personal practice. I don’t put as much emphasis on daily spirituality as I once did. I believe that my patron deities know my mind and heart, that they are both immanent and transcendent. I pray when I am moved to pray, but mostly I just hail them and enjoy life’s little pleasures in their names.